Trauma responses aren’t character deficiencies
I have yet to meet someone who didn’t carry childhood trauma whether they are conscious of it or not...
What the society characterizes as aggression, depression, obsession, controlling, and codependency are indeed responses to childhood trauma.
A trauma-informed perspective is the recognition that much of what we characterize as “problem behaviors” are indeed survival mechanisms adopted in childhood in response to a threat to our sense of safety and connection.
Survival mechanism have different manifestation in Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn; some more expressed and noticeable than others. Some more convenient for our surroundings than others.
Most people rather deal with a “people pleaser” than a “control freak”. Most people rather have you sad and depressed than angry. Most people prefer a workaholic to a codependent. Because it serves THEIR comfort level.
For much too long, our society has been labeling emotions as “good” and “bad”, “desirable” and “undesirable” without fully understanding and appreciating the role of our emotions in supporting our survival at some point in time.
We have pathologized and rejected standard human response to trauma in many cases; this rejection has paved the way for an epidemic of disassociation and bypassing normal human responses and emotions.
For as long as we do not embrace and accept the full spectrum of human emotions, we do not stand a chance to heal trauma.
The path to authentic and sustainable trauma healing requires our full acceptance, curiosity, compassion, and commitment to integrate every aspect of our being; to forgive trespasses by and against us, to live with an open heart, to look for characteristics to appreciate in ourselves and others, to be willing to let go of blame, and to practice kindness, gentleness, and forgiveness as a guiding principle.