Meditations on Identity have been an integral part of my journey for the past year. Our cultures, religions, educational systems, and communities are often designed to instill conformity to a specific set of characteristics. Even within the spiritually awakened communities, there is often an unspoken code for character, language, vocation, dress code, and even diet! I’ve been curiously studying the impact of these associations on my own life and personal choices. At times, I have felt that I needed to deny or hide parts of me to “fit in” and be accepted into a group that I shared. a specific interest with. The need for belonging is a natural human instinct but how far are we willing to compromise on our unique identity (often subconsciously) to fit in and what is the price that we pay?
I have felt like a bit of an outcast all my life; growing up in an ethnic minority community in Iran and then as a refugees in the States, I never quite felt like I had a place where I belonged; I was too old for the college social life, too assimilated for the diaspora community, too real for Hollywood, too corporate for the early burners, and too weird for corporate circles! But the older I get the more I seem to notice the adopted parts that don’t quite fit with who I truly am deep inside. All these adopted pieces are our way of responding to trauma in an effort to cope with challenges to our unmet core needs; in this case, the NEED FOR CONNECTION. These parts have served me well to support my survival but the undressing of these awkward cloaks is the sweetest ecstasy I’ve known in quite some time. Self-love is a wonderfully magical practice that opens gateways to unimaginable fulfillment and freedom! In my work with clients, we do a deep dive into identity to uncover the ways we each adapted at some point for survival by giving up parts of our true selves. Trauma healing is really about identifying the distorted adaptations, removing the false narratives, and connecting to our true divine essence through a practice of RADICAL SELF-LOVE! Love is the greatest medicine of all and very often we so generously dispense it to everyone else except ourselves but the love that doesn’t include you, is incomplete.
So if you are struggling, tune into self-love, practice self-care, connect to spirit, meditate, dance, sing, take “Me Days”, indulge in desserts once in a while, and surround yourself with people who see you, accept you, recognize your unique beauty, and uplift you and in turn, do your part to look for the beauty in others, practice radical acceptance, and forgive those who have hurt you. I promise, life will get an instant burst of magic that will overflow and touch many aspects of your life physically, emotionally, and financially.